PROJECT 365
Why project 365? Because it is proven if you shoot every day, you will get better and I need to get better, I want to be a better photographer. It isn't about me, it's about what is seen by others when they look at my photos, especially if they are clients and the photos were taken for them.
Do the photos inspire? Do the photos connect people to the event? Do the photos invoke the emotion I intended when I composed the shot and selected the settings? I still have so muck to learn so I will shoot 365. Some days I will shoot more than one photo, other days I will shoot hundreds of photos, but I will shoot.
And in all I pray, I honor God.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Friday, July 11, 2014
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Day 2 of no Facebook
I have figured out why I like Facebook . It felt like people were here with me in my living room during the day. The habit of checking is easier to deal with then I thought. But the feeling alone here is what is getting to me. It is very interesting to see how it was filling a void I didn't know was there until it was gone. I miss reading about everyone lives and such. I did download the Jesus Calling app to read and I have opened up my Bible app to help me. But the spot light is on this "I am here by myself" feeling and is evident. It will be very interesting to see how God fills it. I am actually writing this from my blog and posting it so no I am not on Facebook doing this. This is going to be a very good thing indeed at the end because it is harder than I thought to give up.
Be Blessed,
Tracy
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Depth of Betrayal
Betrayal has been around since Cain slay his brother Abel. I guess you don't expect your brother to kill you just because your crop was more fruitful but Cain put his pride before the love of his brother. Absalom felt betrayed by his father King David and set out to kill him only to be killed instead. It didn't work out to well for him as well.
Betrayal goes beyond offense because it involves that a trust has been broken and if we didn't care about the person it wouldn't really matter. Sometimes it involves an element of shock and surprise, sometimes we might see it coming and wonder why?
I have always said to be betrayed is worse then anything because of the trust issue and being betrayed by someone we trusted is a deep hurt. It always invokes a deep feeling of loss in the end.
For quite a while, I have dealt with forgiveness of a betrayal . There are days it is easy to forgive and days when I ask God to give me the love to forgive because my will was not up to the task. Or I will ask him to change my will. I do believe I have forgiven completely.
I have asked many times that the pain be taken away and a realization came upon me, an epiphany of sorts. Which is kind of cool since today is Epiphany. Maybe there is to be a residual of pain in order to remind me of the sting. But why would I want that, well I don't want that, but why should it remain? Pain would remind me and give me the ability to empathize with those betrayed and to never betray anyone and cause them even a sliver of the same pain.
What gave me great comfort recently is a revelation God showed me about betrayal and how to endure. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, was betrayed by someone he loved and trusted, and that that friend sold him out for 30 units of silver for that matter. But what is worse is that his friend, Lazarus, came to him and gave him the kiss of friendship. Since Jesus was fully human he felt all our pain and disappointment and in this case the betrayal of a friend. Knowing Christ had endured the very pain and still went on to die for his friend and all those who would betray him in the future, it gives me purpose for my experience and to love regardless.
Betrayal goes beyond offense because it involves that a trust has been broken and if we didn't care about the person it wouldn't really matter. Sometimes it involves an element of shock and surprise, sometimes we might see it coming and wonder why?
I have always said to be betrayed is worse then anything because of the trust issue and being betrayed by someone we trusted is a deep hurt. It always invokes a deep feeling of loss in the end.
For quite a while, I have dealt with forgiveness of a betrayal . There are days it is easy to forgive and days when I ask God to give me the love to forgive because my will was not up to the task. Or I will ask him to change my will. I do believe I have forgiven completely.
I have asked many times that the pain be taken away and a realization came upon me, an epiphany of sorts. Which is kind of cool since today is Epiphany. Maybe there is to be a residual of pain in order to remind me of the sting. But why would I want that, well I don't want that, but why should it remain? Pain would remind me and give me the ability to empathize with those betrayed and to never betray anyone and cause them even a sliver of the same pain.
What gave me great comfort recently is a revelation God showed me about betrayal and how to endure. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, was betrayed by someone he loved and trusted, and that that friend sold him out for 30 units of silver for that matter. But what is worse is that his friend, Lazarus, came to him and gave him the kiss of friendship. Since Jesus was fully human he felt all our pain and disappointment and in this case the betrayal of a friend. Knowing Christ had endured the very pain and still went on to die for his friend and all those who would betray him in the future, it gives me purpose for my experience and to love regardless.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
"You Reach For Me"
Reach by Peter Furler
VERSE 1:
You hold the weight of the world
Still I don't slip through your hands
Your love is bigger
Than just an ocean built by man
I fall again and again,
But you whisper, You're still mine.
You feel the pain of the world,
But you never push mine aside.
CHORUS:
And You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears
And You reach for me
Like a Father wipes away the tears
So many people in this world,
But I hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now I�m never gonna be the same.
Oh, Oh
VERSE 2:
You know all of my fears
There's nothing Your eyes can't see.
When I tried to give up,
Lord, you never gave up on me.
I give You all of my hopes and dreams,
I lay them down.
Of all the place I've looked,
You're the one truth I have found.
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
CHORUS:
And You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears
And You reach for me
Like a Father wipes away the tears
So many people in this world,
But I hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now I'm never gonna be the same.
Oh, Oh
BRIDGE:
You hold the weight of the world,
Still I don't slip through Your hands.
You put the stars in the sky.
You know every grain of sand.
CHORUS:
But You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears.
And You reach for me,
Like a Father wipes away the tears.
So many people in this world,
But I hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now I'm never gonna be the same.
Oh, Oh
You reach for me.
For me.
In my "music to move the soul" blog post, I posted the lyrics to "Where Can I Go" by Paul Kyle, a song that brought me to a tender place in order to receive a renewal in my soul by the Spirit of God. Whenever I hear that song, I go back to that moment in time that is like an ebenezer to me now.
This past Friday evening, I had an experience that spoke so very loudly to me. And as usual a song came to mind that I could relate to the experience, "Reach" by Peter Furler, words above. We were invited to visit with the very song writer of "Where Can I Go" With his obvious Irish brogue, the sweet voice of his wife next to him and the talented bow of my dear friend Kabrena, he began to sing my song. :-) . At that very moment, I felt like the same God that made the moon and stars reached down and gave me a very personal experience. As if he whispered, "I do love you, I have not forgotten you or abandoned you. I will stay by your side in the hardest of moments and best of times"
What amazes me is that this very immeasurable God that is the God of all; is at the very same moment the God of one, his forgiven, beloved child, daughter, Tracy. \o/
VERSE 1:
You hold the weight of the world
Still I don't slip through your hands
Your love is bigger
Than just an ocean built by man
I fall again and again,
But you whisper, You're still mine.
You feel the pain of the world,
But you never push mine aside.
CHORUS:
And You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears
And You reach for me
Like a Father wipes away the tears
So many people in this world,
But I hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now I�m never gonna be the same.
Oh, Oh
VERSE 2:
You know all of my fears
There's nothing Your eyes can't see.
When I tried to give up,
Lord, you never gave up on me.
I give You all of my hopes and dreams,
I lay them down.
Of all the place I've looked,
You're the one truth I have found.
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
CHORUS:
And You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears
And You reach for me
Like a Father wipes away the tears
So many people in this world,
But I hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now I'm never gonna be the same.
Oh, Oh
BRIDGE:
You hold the weight of the world,
Still I don't slip through Your hands.
You put the stars in the sky.
You know every grain of sand.
CHORUS:
But You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears.
And You reach for me,
Like a Father wipes away the tears.
So many people in this world,
But I hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now I'm never gonna be the same.
Oh, Oh
You reach for me.
For me.
In my "music to move the soul" blog post, I posted the lyrics to "Where Can I Go" by Paul Kyle, a song that brought me to a tender place in order to receive a renewal in my soul by the Spirit of God. Whenever I hear that song, I go back to that moment in time that is like an ebenezer to me now.
This past Friday evening, I had an experience that spoke so very loudly to me. And as usual a song came to mind that I could relate to the experience, "Reach" by Peter Furler, words above. We were invited to visit with the very song writer of "Where Can I Go" With his obvious Irish brogue, the sweet voice of his wife next to him and the talented bow of my dear friend Kabrena, he began to sing my song. :-) . At that very moment, I felt like the same God that made the moon and stars reached down and gave me a very personal experience. As if he whispered, "I do love you, I have not forgotten you or abandoned you. I will stay by your side in the hardest of moments and best of times"
What amazes me is that this very immeasurable God that is the God of all; is at the very same moment the God of one, his forgiven, beloved child, daughter, Tracy. \o/
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Best Friend Day-June 8?
We met before our Jr year of high school. We became friends but it wasn't till I joined the youth group at the Ft. Leavenworth post chapel that we got to really know each other. She showed me what it was like to be a Christian. She introduced me to "Contemporary Christian Music". She invited me with her Christian friends to have fun without getting in trouble. She introduced me to Christ.
The summer before our Senior year really set the friendship for life. We were both involved in a community theater production, "The Diary of Anne Frank" Christine played Anne, I was behind the scenes as prop mistress. All the people dear to us were a part of that production and we spent many hours together in a short amount of time. Then as common in the life of a military "brat", she was moving away. Because of the timing of the move, she ended up moving in with us for a couple of weeks. What an awesome time it was, late summer nights talking after our respective dates, I even let her talk sometimes, that is after she so kindly asked one night, "Can I talk now" ;-D The day she left I just sat there and watched her car drive off and cried.
But our friendship really grew deeper after she had to move. I really don't know how we stayed so close but we did. My graduation gift was going to see her graduate at her new school. A year later I got to see her for a few brief hours in West Point, New York. She came to visit on my original wedding date, we had moved up the wedding due to Barry's military career plans. Again a few weeks of late night talks usually involving ice cream and lots of laughter. All along, I felt connected to her as I grew in my faith in Christ. With each milestone I experienced, I always was led me to share with her. Thank goodness at some point unlimited long distance minutes came around and email.
Then the best news ever, in 1998 my husband was being transferred to Charleston SC and her husband was changing careers altogether and moving to Columbia SC. Yes, it was two hours apart but boy that was as close to being neighbors as we had been since 1985. She was there for me at a sudden shock to my family. I was at her house this time when Barry called and told me we were moving to Montana. A few months later, at our last stop in South Carolina, my car pulled out of her drive way and out of the rear view mirror, I watched as my best friend stood in the culdesac with her baby in her arms and cried. There have been times when there is quite a span of time where we do not see each other. Just this past August, Barry surprised me and said, "what will it take to get Christine to Texas for a visit"? He offered to pay to have her come knowing we needed it. I called her up and we made it happen. It was truly the pinnacle of 2010 for me. The picture above was from that trip, actually as I was about to take her to the airport. That wasn't nearly as a dramatic goodbye, as I had to drop her off at the curb. But for a few days my drive to take Evan to work was quite lonely.
Over the years God has given us many blessings as friends. Between us we have ten children, wow, at one time it was three. I can be myself with her, she accepts me for who I am as I do for her. We can cry and we can be silly. We can talk for hours. She is my true blue friend. We rarely have had any bad issues but they are usually either talked out or just go away. I trust her with my heart, I can tell her any thing and not fear any consequences. I can ask her if I am being an idiot and she will tell me yes if needed. She will pray for me and with me. There are times we forget to return each others calls and there are times we blow it but cry or laugh and are done with it. She is not the only friend I have that we share the above characteristics. But she is the one that encompasses them all over the many years. Our friendship is like wine, it gets better over time. Um, that was corny I know.
So though this is truly the first year I have ever heard of Best Friend Day and I am late on it, no surprise. I will use this opportunity to share with the world who is she is to me. Thank you, Christine. Thank you God for her. I am blessed to call you friend.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Music to Move the Soul
Music is such a personal preference to so many. What moves one person totally turns the stomach of others. Even within the church, especially in the United States, music is not only divers but often a subject of debate, it can often become a debate of who is more holy and who worships in a correct manner because of the music. I am blessed to be able to enjoy different styles at our Anglican church. The very ancient hymns in the morning, the melodic chanting of prayer on Wednesday and the rockin' band on Sunday evening in koinonia. It is within that setting we have contemporary music to worship and through all the different styles we are ministered to through the Holy Spirit and Word.
I am not different from a great deal of people when I say music acts like a tenderizer to my heart and soul. It was to a song I had never heard before that brought me to my knees in desperation for renewal just a few months ago. Just hearing it play in my head calms me. It is an unknown in comparison to Chris Tomlin and such. But it's words and melody remind me of a simple truth. "Where Can I Go" By Paul Kyle A song with an Celtic feel.
When I find myself acting like an orphan, I sing it. I will often post YouTube videos of music that are currently either ministering to me or representing how I feel. I can identify with the words. Sometimes I will see words I really identify with but the music does nothing for me. But than there are songs where both come together and move me. A few new favorites of mine are Tenth Avenue North and JJ Heller. Both very different in style and content but really touch me deeply. It was to "Hold My Heart" By Tenth Avenue North that I clung to in the days where it just seemed my prayers were bouncing off the walls and I felt so alone and distant from God.
Hold My Heart lyrics
Songwriters: Donehey, Michael; Ingram, Jason David; Larue, Phillip;
How long must I pray, must I pray to You
How long must I wait, must I wait for You
How long 'till I see Your face
See You shining through
I'm on my knees
Begging You to notice me
I'm on my knees
Father, will You turn to me, yeah?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way
I'm done asking why
'Cause I'm on my knees
Begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees
{ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/tenth-avenue-north-lyrics/hold-my-heart-lyrics.html }
Father, will You run to me, yeah?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
So many questions without answers
Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances
To hear You call my name
To hear You call my name
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
Hold my heart
Could You hold my heart?
Hold my heart
I have been challenged to listen to nothing but Christian music. Not in a legalistic way but in a way that will keep me focused and remind me where I am supposed to be in my life.
One gift I find amazing is when I struggle with reading the Word of God and words seem flat, God has brought me music to show me truths and lead me to worship. It is than that the words leap off of the pages and make sense.
It is songs like "I Lift My Hands" by Chris Tomlin that represent the healing and changes God is doing in my life since mid March.
"I Lift My Hands"
Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me
So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever
It is songs like this that represent the deep healing that is taking place in my heart and hopefully beginning to pour out into my life.
There were years when I had become so stoic and cold towards anything other than hymns that I missed out on the blessing of the variety of music from touching my soul. I am so thankful that time is over and I am again responsive to the language of worship through music.
New International Version (©1984)
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
Blessings,
Tracy
I am not different from a great deal of people when I say music acts like a tenderizer to my heart and soul. It was to a song I had never heard before that brought me to my knees in desperation for renewal just a few months ago. Just hearing it play in my head calms me. It is an unknown in comparison to Chris Tomlin and such. But it's words and melody remind me of a simple truth. "Where Can I Go" By Paul Kyle A song with an Celtic feel.
Where can I go?Where can I run to?Where can I hide,from the presence of the Lord?
The Lord is near,near us at all times.His Spirit is here,receive Him now.
When I find myself acting like an orphan, I sing it. I will often post YouTube videos of music that are currently either ministering to me or representing how I feel. I can identify with the words. Sometimes I will see words I really identify with but the music does nothing for me. But than there are songs where both come together and move me. A few new favorites of mine are Tenth Avenue North and JJ Heller. Both very different in style and content but really touch me deeply. It was to "Hold My Heart" By Tenth Avenue North that I clung to in the days where it just seemed my prayers were bouncing off the walls and I felt so alone and distant from God.
Hold My Heart lyrics
Songwriters: Donehey, Michael; Ingram, Jason David; Larue, Phillip;
How long must I pray, must I pray to You
How long must I wait, must I wait for You
How long 'till I see Your face
See You shining through
I'm on my knees
Begging You to notice me
I'm on my knees
Father, will You turn to me, yeah?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way
I'm done asking why
'Cause I'm on my knees
Begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees
{ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/tenth-avenue-north-lyrics/hold-my-heart-lyrics.html }
Father, will You run to me, yeah?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
So many questions without answers
Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances
To hear You call my name
To hear You call my name
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
Hold my heart
Could You hold my heart?
Hold my heart
I have been challenged to listen to nothing but Christian music. Not in a legalistic way but in a way that will keep me focused and remind me where I am supposed to be in my life.
One gift I find amazing is when I struggle with reading the Word of God and words seem flat, God has brought me music to show me truths and lead me to worship. It is than that the words leap off of the pages and make sense.
It is songs like "I Lift My Hands" by Chris Tomlin that represent the healing and changes God is doing in my life since mid March.
"I Lift My Hands"
Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me
So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever
It is songs like this that represent the deep healing that is taking place in my heart and hopefully beginning to pour out into my life.
There were years when I had become so stoic and cold towards anything other than hymns that I missed out on the blessing of the variety of music from touching my soul. I am so thankful that time is over and I am again responsive to the language of worship through music.
New International Version (©1984)
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
Blessings,
Tracy
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